{"id":3867,"date":"2024-11-28T11:55:52","date_gmt":"2024-11-28T10:55:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev.twentytwo.digital\/ukbodytalk\/?p=3867"},"modified":"2024-11-29T17:41:11","modified_gmt":"2024-11-29T16:41:11","slug":"recognising-effort","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev.twentytwo.digital\/ukbodytalk\/resources\/blogs\/recognising-effort\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Your Feedback Might Be Crushing Effort\u2014and How to Fix It"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Over dinner recently, a good friend, I&#8217;ll call her Rachel, told me she\u2019d been given an unexpected bonus at work. At first, she seemed happy, but as we talked, I noticed an underlying tension. When I asked her about it, she shared the reason: when her manager handed her the bonus, they added, <em>\u201cDon\u2019t get used to it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ouch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rachel explained how that one comment overshadowed the recognition she\u2019d worked so hard for. Instead of feeling proud or motivated to keep excelling, she felt deflated and unsure about the value of her effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Rachel\u2019s story is a situation many of us have faced. We take a step forward, make an extra effort, or show up when it really matters, only to be met with sarcasm, criticism, or indifference. Maybe you\u2019ve heard:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cOh, so you\u2019re actually trying now?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>\u201cWhy can\u2019t you do this all the time?\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>\u201cDon\u2019t get too comfortable.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Even when meant as a joke, these remarks sting. They send a message that effort isn\u2019t valued, or worse, that it was expected all along. And according to psychologists <a href=\"https:\/\/selfdeterminationtheory.org\/SDT\/documents\/2000_RyanDeci_SDT.pdf\">Edward Deci and Richard Ryan<\/a>, this kind of feedback does more than just hurt feelings, it actively undermines intrinsic motivation, the internal drive to improve for personal satisfaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So why do we often respond this way? And more importantly, how can we break the cycle and create an environment where effort is encouraged and progress thrives?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong> The Danger of Punishing Effort and Progress<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My chat with Rachel highlights a universal truth: progress begins with effort. But effort is fragile, it needs encouragement to grow. When effort is dismissed or criticised, it sends the wrong message and creates a toxic cycle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>It signals that change isn\u2019t valued.<br><\/strong>When<a href=\"https:\/\/dev.twentytwo.digital\/ukbodytalk\/resources\/videos\/working-through-conflict-and-difficult-conversations\/\"> sarcasm or criticism<\/a> follows a positive step, it tells the person their effort doesn\u2019t matter or is \u201ctoo little, too late.\u201d This discourages future attempts. Why bother trying if no one notices, or worse, if it leads to a put-down?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It creates a fear of failure.<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong>If effort is met with judgment or indifference, people may stop trying altogether. Fear of failing, when even success isn\u2019t rewarded, makes stepping out of their comfort zone feel too risky.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>It destroys trust and morale.<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong>Over time, consistent negativity breeds resentment and erodes trust, whether in workplaces, relationships, or teams. It\u2019s hard to stay motivated when you don\u2019t feel valued.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gallup.com\/workplace\/236951\/praise-praising-employees.aspx\">Gallup\u2019s research on employee engagement<\/a> shows this clearly: employees who felt their efforts were overlooked or criticised were twice as likely to disengage and eventually leave their jobs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Flipping the Script: Encouraging and Recognising Effort<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The good news? We can all learn to recognise effort and celebrate it in ways that build motivation and trust. Here\u2019s how to shift your responses:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Acknowledge the Effort.<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong>A simple, positive comment can be transformative. Instead of, <em>\u201cFinally!\u201d<\/em> try:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cI see the effort you\u2019re putting in, thank you.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>\u201cIt\u2019s great to have you here today.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Psychologist Carol Dweck\u2019s research on growth mindset demonstrates that praising effort (not just results) builds resilience and encourages long-term growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Highlight the Positive.<\/strong><strong><br><\/strong>Recognise even small wins. Positive reinforcement builds momentum. For example:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cThis is great progress, let\u2019s build on it.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>\u201cYou\u2019re making a real impact with this effort.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Celebrate Small Wins.<br><\/strong>Don\u2019t wait for major milestones to acknowledge progress. Small wins deserve recognition too, they create a sense of accomplishment and keep people motivated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Use Curiosity Instead of Criticism.<br><\/strong>If someone\u2019s progress feels slow or inconsistent, resist the urge to criticise. Instead, approach with curiosity:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><em>\u201cWhat made today feel different? You really brought your A-game!\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><em>\u201cWhat\u2019s been working for you lately? I\u2019d love to hear more.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>The Ripple Effect of Encouragement<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Encouraging effort goes beyond being nice, it creates an environment where people feel safe to grow, experiment, and take risks. Over time, this approach:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Builds Confidence:<\/strong> Recognition boosts self-belief and encourages persistence.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Strengthens Relationships:<\/strong> Positive feedback builds trust and goodwill.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Inspires Others:<\/strong> When one person feels encouraged, it often motivates those around them to step up too.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When <a href=\"https:\/\/dev.twentytwo.digital\/ukbodytalk\/resources\/blogs\/leadership-lessons-from-ted-lasso\/\">leaders focus on encouraging effort<\/a>, they build environments where everyone is motivated to step up. As author and leadership expert Simon Sinek says, <em>\u201cLeadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.\u201d<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Don&#8217;t punish the behaviour you want to see<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The next time someone takes a step forward, whether it\u2019s showing up, trying harder, or taking on something new, pause to think about your response. Are you encouraging their effort or inadvertently discouraging it? Are you punishing the behaviour you want to see?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Progress doesn\u2019t have to be perfect, but it does need to be nurtured. By celebrating effort, even in its smallest forms, we show others they\u2019re seen, heard, and valued for trying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s not about grand gestures or perfect outcomes. It\u2019s about creating an environment where recognising effort is the norm and growth is possible.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Giving and receiving feedback shouldn\u2019t be hard, but many of us put off these conversations for fear of getting it wrong or feeling uncomfortable. If you\u2019d like to elevate your feedback skills why not consider our <a href=\"https:\/\/dev.twentytwo.digital\/ukbodytalk\/courses\/giving-and-receiving-feedback-masterclass\/\">60-90 minute interactive masterclass<\/a>? It\u2019s a perfect way to upskill your team in a fun and engaging session.<br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\"><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Over dinner recently, a good friend, I&#8217;ll call her Rachel, told me she\u2019d been given an unexpected bonus at work. At first, she seemed happy, but as we talked, I noticed an underlying tension. When I asked her about it, she shared the reason: when her manager handed her the bonus, they added, \u201cDon\u2019t get [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":3868,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[81,91,92],"class_list":["post-3867","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blogs","tag-communication-skills","tag-feedback","tag-leadershipskills"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v25.6 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why Your Feedback Might Be Crushing Effort\u2014and How to Fix It - Body Talk<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Why recognising effort and celebrating progress builds confidence and inspires lasting growth in your business and personal relationships.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/dev.twentytwo.digital\/ukbodytalk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3867\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_GB\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Why Your Feedback Might Be Crushing Effort\u2014and How to Fix It - 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