{"id":1043,"date":"2021-03-23T17:17:12","date_gmt":"2021-03-23T17:17:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev.twentytwo.digital\/ukbodytalk\/stop-saying-sorry\/"},"modified":"2025-07-14T17:33:25","modified_gmt":"2025-07-14T16:33:25","slug":"stop-saying-sorry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev.twentytwo.digital\/ukbodytalk\/resources\/blogs\/stop-saying-sorry\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Saying Sorry"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cWhen we needlessly apologise, we end up making ourselves small and diminish what we\u2019re trying to express\u201d.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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Stop Saying Sorry<\/span><\/h2>\n

How often do you say sorry?<\/p>\n

Are you genuinely apologising, or are you saying it to be polite or fill a silence?<\/p>\n

If your answers to those questions are “at least ten times every day” and “yes”, then you\u2019re not alone. An authoritative UK survey reported the average person says “sorry” around eight times a day \u2013 and one in eight people apologise up to 20 times a day.<\/p>\n

Apologies kill our confidence<\/h3>\n

\u2018How apologies kill our confidence\u2019<\/a><\/strong> is a fascinating TED talk by Canadian sociologist Maja Jovanovic. In this thought-provoking presentation, Jovanovic explains how she was enraged and heartbroken by how many of her academic colleagues, particularly women, routinely spoke in apologetic terms about themselves.<\/p>\n

She shared an experience about a conference she attended where four women were on a panel. They were experts in their chosen fields, and between them, they had published hundreds of academic articles and dozens of books. All they had to do was introduce themselves.<\/p>\n

The first woman took the microphone and said, \u201cI don\u2019t know what I could possibly add to this discussion\u201d.<\/p>\n

The second woman took the mic and said, \u201cOh my gosh, I thought they sent the email to the wrong person. I\u2019m just so humbled to be here\u201d.<\/p>\n

The third and the fourth women continued in a similar vein.<\/p>\n

Maja says, \u201cWhen we needlessly apologise, we end up making ourselves small and diminish what we\u2019re trying to express\u201d.<\/p>\n

She also tells the story of her research assistant, who said \u2018sorry\u2019 to the pizza delivery driver who was late with her order.<\/p>\n

\u201cOh my gosh, we live in a new sub development. I\u2019m so sorry. Did you have trouble finding this place?\u201d<\/p>\n

Regularly saying sorry when it\u2019s not needed erodes our confidence leading to self-doubt and the rise of our inner-critic. Those with low self-esteem often over-apologise, as do perfectionists, because they set themselves unreasonably high standards, which they find hard to live up to.<\/p>\n

So how can we get out of the habit of apologising when there\u2019s no need? Try these ideas to stop saying sorry:<\/p>\n

1 \u2013 When you\u2019re in a meeting, you could say “I have an idea” or “can I add\u2026?” instead of “sorry to interrupt”.<\/p>\n

2 \u2013 Using “thank you” is a good strategy. Replace “sorry for going on” with “thank you for listening”.<\/p>\n

3 \u2013 Instead of starting an email with \u2018sorry for the delay\u2019, type \u2018thank you for giving me the time to reply\u2019.<\/p>\n

4 \u2013 When you need to have that important conversation with your boss, try “Is now a good time to chat?” instead of “sorry to bother you”.<\/p>\n

5 \u2013 Acknowledge when things go wrong with conviction and confidence. “That didn\u2019t quite work, but I know how to solve it.”<\/p>\n

And finally, the next time you have a little dance around someone on the street or in the supermarket who\u2019s got a bit too close, use “pardon me” or “after you” instead of “sorry”.<\/p>\n

Of course, if it really is your bad, then a genuine apology will always be the right choice, a strength rather than a weakness. In the meantime, train your mind to park \u2018sorry\u2019 on the naughty step and empower your language.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you apologise too much? Find out why saying sorry when it\u2019s not appropriate erodes our confidence diminishes our impact.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":1044,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1043","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blogs"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow To Stop Saying Sorry And Be More Confident | Body Talk<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"How do you stop saying sorry when there's no need to apologise? 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