{"id":1033,"date":"2021-02-01T11:37:16","date_gmt":"2021-02-01T11:37:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev.twentytwo.digital\/ukbodytalk\/the-secret-of-great-conversations\/"},"modified":"2025-07-14T18:42:54","modified_gmt":"2025-07-14T17:42:54","slug":"the-secret-of-great-conversations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev.twentytwo.digital\/ukbodytalk\/resources\/blogs\/the-secret-of-great-conversations\/","title":{"rendered":"How to have great conversations"},"content":{"rendered":"

“You don\u2019t need to know what the other person knows to have great conversations; you just need to be interested.”<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

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How to have great conversations<\/span><\/h2>\n

The easiest things are often the most difficult to do. Having a conversation is a good example. It should be simple – it\u2019s only talking, right? – yet so many of us, particularly in business, get it wrong.<\/p>\n

Why?<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing, and it\u2019s important: we don\u2019t always listen. Having a good conversation is more about listening than talking.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t take my word for it; take note of what the late Larry King, the celebrated chat show host and master of conversation, said about the importance of listening. King told the Columbia Journalism Review<\/a><\/strong>,<\/p>\n

\u201cIf you don\u2019t listen, you\u2019re not a good interviewer. I hate interviewers who come with a long list of prepared questions because they\u2019re going to depend on going from the fourth question to the fifth question without listening to the answer of the fourth question. And that\u2019s not the way it works for me. So I concentrate solely on the answer, and I trust my instincts to come up with questions\u201d.<\/p>\n

Why empathy matters<\/h3>\n

There is science in what King says: psychologists describe listening acuity and empathy as foremost in predicting if conversations will be successful.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s something to keep in mind. Empathy happens when you listen with the intent to understand rather than with the intent to reply. Larry King knew this and utilised his good listening skills to create empathy with his guests, relaxing them into an open – and often fascinating – conversation. The less he said, the more interesting the interview became.<\/p>\n

If you think this interpersonal skill of listening is nothing, think again. When King first interviewed Frank Sinatra (who rarely gave interviews), Sinatra\u2019s people told him not to bring up his son\u2019s kidnapping. King was sensitive to this request, and at the beginning of the interview, he deployed his usual emphasis on listening.<\/p>\n

And then an astonishing thing happened.<\/p>\n

As the interview progressed, King\u2019s empathy and hard listening made a strong connection with the usually acerbic Sinatra. In this relaxed frame of mind, he opened up about the trauma of his son\u2019s kidnapping.<\/p>\n

Sinatra subsequently said King had \u2018the ability to make the camera disappear\u2019.<\/p>\n

Keep it simple<\/h3>\n

There\u2019s more. Consider how when Larry did speak, it was to ask simple, concise questions.<\/p>\n

\u2018What happened?\u2019<\/p>\n

\u2018Why did you do this?\u2019<\/p>\n

King\u2019s secret was to ask questions arising from genuine curiosity and without agenda. He kept his questions short and open, giving his guests the space and opportunity to speak openly without fearing their subjective experience being interrogated by compound questions. They could tell their story. And Larry would listen, not judge or contradict.<\/p>\n

Emotional intelligence<\/h3>\n

Even better, Larry was open about his lack of knowledge. You see, admitting you don\u2019t know stuff is smart; it\u2019s emotionally intelligent.<\/p>\n

Larry described himself as a layman. He wasn\u2019t an expert in any of the fields his guests were famous for. Among those he interviewed were politicians, doctors, lawyers, scientists and actors. Accepting his lack of knowledge, Larry\u2019s approach was one of intense curiosity. He didn\u2019t play intellectual top trumps, instead he crafted an environment where the guest felt what he had to say was interesting, important and insightful.<\/p>\n

Can you imagine how great that feels?<\/p>\n

The point is this: You don\u2019t need to know what the other person knows to have a great conversation; you need to be interested.<\/p>\n

We can learn much from Larry King when it comes to communication skills, and it boils down to three things:<\/p>\n

Listen more, speak less and be curious.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019d like to have more productive and meaningful conversations to build stronger relationships, then check out our training and online communication courses<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<\/section>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Larry King was a master at having great conversations. Discover what made him one of the best interviewers of all time.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":3455,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"content-type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1033","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blogs"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nThe secret of having great conversations | Body Talk<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Having great conversations should be simple - it\u2019s only talking, right? 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